Running--Adra

The problem with  trying to running away from pain is that running itself is a solitary pursuit.  Dodging trees the only slight distraction from the thoughts and memories that kept surfacing. I saw my village on the morning of the Autumn Harvest Festival with Ren in the forefront, beckoning me to join him and his friend, Yoru, in the festivities that I thought were too childish.  I remember Yoru's bright smile as he lifted me on his shoulder when we had beaten Ren and Tono in the three legged race that day and the light peck on my cheek from him later that evening.  But those memories faded quickly into the scene of the massacre that Marcatot and I had found upon our return from Dayri, Yoru's slashed lips and lifeless face was the first one we saw. Tono the second.  

I put my hands on my temple and pushed, trying to somehow block the images of the dead.  Only old man Badro had survived the massacre and was able to tell us the names of those he had seen taken captive, mostly women, a few children and Ren. Where they were headed, Badro didn't know.  I did, though.  Eenven. 

 Why had I trusted Courtier?  Looking back, it was easy to see that he was not used to farming.  His hands too soft and nails manicured.   Though it had been helpful, he had known the city too well for a farmer's son on a visit.   He had played my emotions to get what he wanted from me, which was more than just a harmless kiss.

I was the former Spy Master's daughter and  training to become an intelligence supplier myself.  Why was I blinded by his good looks and flirtatious ways?  I knew I had been foolish and should have trusted my first instinct, that he was too well dressed and a player.  If I had, if I had...

I screamed out in frustration as I tripped on a tree root that crossed the path.  As my body hit the ground, I finally succumbed to the pain, both physical and emotional. I lay there, the side of my face planted in the dirt, my arms stretched out above my head.  I cried for my friends' lives that were cut short.  I cried for my lost brother.  I cried for the anguish I felt in being betrayed.  But mostly, I cried because of my selfishness, pride and naivete that caused me to not even suspect Courtier.  I had not followed one  of the village's rules and not one village Elder was left to censure me.   I sobbed, tears running freely until I could cry no more and then I slept.